Spiritual
Survival Skills For New Moms
By
Carrie Brink, Contributor
Motherhood, whether you work for pay or not, is the toughest
career any woman will ever face. Mothers will face a barrage
of challenges. Some are easy, "Tie my shoes!" Others
more difficult, "But Kathy has her's pierced!". Among
the many challenges facing mothers, there remains a constant
need to pair the promptings of the spirit with parenting skills.
This sounds simple enough. Balancing husbands, children, church
assignments, volunteer work, and time alone make this an ordeal.
What should bring the most joy also brings the most stress.
Sometimes mothers get burdened with unreal expectations. Here
are some tips for keeping the spirit, keeping your sanity, and
raising children with joy.
PRAYER
"Ere you left your room this
morning, Did you think to Pray?" It‚s not a coincidence
that an often sung hymn would bear this simple reminder. How
many moms have leapt from the bed to rescue a sick child or
crying baby before saying morning prayers? How many moms get
such an early start that they miss this personal time? Even
if it is remembered at lunchtime, say those "morning"
prayers! Say them in the car. Say them in the shower, if need
be, and do not feel guilty. There will be plenty of time spent
on our knees next to our beds when our little ones are serving
missions. Never miss an opportunity to say prayer! As we come
to know and love our Heavenly Father through this amazing method
of communication, our children will learn of it's value.
MEDITATION
This tip goes hand in hand with prayer.
There are times when you will have to pray on-the-run. There
needs to be a time in your busy day when the spirit can tell
you what you need to hear. Try to leave at least ten minutes
a day for prayer with meditation. This is also a personal time
for you with your Father. Keep your journal close by and write
the promptings or feelings you have during these quiet times.
When your children are young and needy, this may seem an impossible
goal. Bargain with your husband, hide in the bathroom, wake
up a little earlier, do what you can to gain those extra minutes
for spiritual self.
SCRIPTURE STUDY
For years, I was embarrassed when
visitors found a set of scriptures in every bathroom of my house.
My dear, Jewish mother-in-law recently confided that she was
certain I was trying to convert her. I finally made peace with
my feelings of blasphemy when I admitted that the bathroom was
literally the only place that I could sit down alone. Even if
it was one scripture a day, it was read! Place your Ensigns,
and other essential reading material close to where you spend
most of your time. Our littlest one is still nursing and we
have a favorite chair. Old and new Ensigns, the issues of The
Friend that I manage to hide before the kids find them, Family
Home Evening manuals, and the Essentials of Home Production
and Storage are some of our choice nursing accessories right
now.
DELEGATION
It took me four babies to learn how
to delegate. The moment of truth occurred after the birth of
our youngest son. Our family had moved into a new house, in
a new country, with my due date two weeks away. Call it Extreme
Nesting; that house was set up and ready for baby with time
to spare. What an accomplishment. Too bad I crashed postpartum.
I had never learned the secret to a healthy, happy family life
is delegation. Because of my need to be Supermom, my children
had never learned the basics of running a home. I'm convinced
the older children thought there was a Laundry Fairy hiding
in our ample basement. Can a three-year-old prepare the treat
for Family Home Evening? Yes he can! Can a seven year old wash
and dry laundry? Yes he can! Can a thirteen year old make dinner?
Yes she can! Don't let your little ones, or your Visiting Teachers,
miss out on the joys of work and service. As indispensable as
mothers are, there isn't a job, short of making new family members,
that husbands and children can't do. Beds may look more jumped
on than made. Dinner may be macaroni and cheese six nights in
a row. Everyone will thrive while you bond with the new little
one.
I have a secret that you should know. Lean closer. Mothers with
babies and/or small children are not required to have a memory,
iron shirts, decorate the cultural hall, _______________ fill-in-the-
blank. Now, go tell your best friends! Too often we are trying
to be everything to everyone. The only thing you are responsible
for right this moment is a healthy, happy family. Am I telling
you to neglect your callings? Not at all. I am suggesting that
you place the proper prospective on your life at this moment.
There are some moms that will appear to have it all together.
They have a baby on Saturday and give a talk in Sacrament the
next day. They feed the missionaries, visit teach without interruption,
teach the Sunbeams, and can 125 quarts of green beans. Does
this woman exist? Oh yes! Do we like her? Oh yes! But she has
dirty floors. I give you formal permission to let go of all
the unreal expectations and care for your babies, your spiritual
self, and your husband. All the rest will come sooner than you
think.
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Relaxing
Meditation
Once you
do get a moment of relaxing meditation here are some peaceful,
uplifting activities to help:
Soak in a warm tub bath using homemade
bath salts and read the Visiting Teaching message or any
other uplifting article in the Ensign.
Take a walk and enjoy the beautiful nature that Heavenly Father
has blessed us with. Enjoy the colors of the season, the warm
or cool air on your cheeks, and thank Heavenly Father for your
many blessings--including the ones you left behind screaming
with their Daddy!
Write in your journal. Take this time alone to record your thoughts
of happiness, sadness, stress, and thankfulness. If you make
a list of all the things you are thankful for you might just
be surprised at how much the Lord has blessed you and how much
He loves you.
Do a scripture study all about Thankfulness, Gratitude and Motherhood.
You will feel much better when you remember to be thankful,
even for your trials. Reading the scriptures on motherhood will
remind you how important this sacred duty is.
Listen to uplifting music and sing along. Whether you are singing
along with hymns, Primary songs, contemporary music, or other
any other uplifting songs, music is a guaranteed pick-me-up.
Besides, if you are really stressed out, nothing helps relieve
the tension like belting out a good tune.
Share your story with friends, family or visiting teachers.
Sometimes sharing your story with other mothers really helps.
When you are sharing you relate similar stories and you feel
connected to others.
Attend Enrichment. Enrichment is not only spiritual uplifting,
but will give you a chance to meet with other LDS women. They
will be a strength to you as well as you will be a strength
to others.
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