*All sisters interviewed for this article wished for their last names not to appear*

According to the US Census Bureau, there are approximately 10 million single mothers in America. One person providing the temporal and emotional support can be a heavy burden to bear. There are many women in the Church that face this burden. Single mothers in the Church often struggle with finances, feelings of depression and a lack of emotional support.

In surveying several single mothers in the Church, most responded that finances have been the toughest challenge for them. The Census reports that 34 percent of single moms in America live below the poverty level. Stacey (Granite Falls Ward, Snohomish Washington Stake, USA) said it’s difficult “trying to pay the bills, mortgage, tithing and daycare with absolutely nothing left over.” Many single mothers live paycheck to paycheck without adequate savings or insurance.

In addition to finances, another concern for single mothers is finding daycare.

“I can’t afford daycare,” said Tammy (Dublin Ward, Pleasanton California Stake, USA).

The average cost of daycare can be $5000 or more per year depending on the area and the type of services provided. Single mothers in the Church also state that it’s difficult to find daycare in order to attend the temple or church activities.

“It's been hard sometimes when nurseries haven't been provided for activities and we've just been told to have our husbands stay home with the kids," said Dawn (Pensacola Ward, Pensacola Florida Stake, USA). Who is supposed to stay home with mine?”

Single mothers often find themselves with feelings of hopelessness and despair about their situation.

“Sometimes I feel like I failed because I don't have the typical LDS family of mom, dad and kids,” Dawn said.

The Church’s Proclamation on the Family is, for some, a reminder they don’t fit mold.

“I feel like a failure, said Orla (Terenure Ward, Dublin Ireland Stake, Ireland) "I feel like my family is not good enough.”

Single mothers are at times left to deal with these emotions alone. While many single mothers are able to find a helping-hand from family, some feel abandoned by their ward. Several of the mothers surveyed said they feel uncomfortable around married women in the Church.

“It seems like most married moms in the Church just look at you differently if you are a single mom; like you did something wrong,” said Tammy.

Sandi (12th Ward, Logan Utah Stake, USA) added, “I get treated badly being a widow. People look down on me and, believe it or not, most assume that I am divorced. I think divorced people get the royal bum rap.”

The gospel has been the key to helping single mothers in the Church deal with the challenges they face.

“After all, all parents in the Church—single or not—have the same problem-solving tool: the Gospel, and the sure promise of reward for effort and righteousness. If we place our trust in the Lord, we will truly reap the blessing promised in Jeremiah 17:8: ‘For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.’” (Janet Kent, “When You’re Mom—and Dad,” Ensign, Apr. 1985)

Several of the mothers surveyed said they have grown spiritually since becoming a single mother.

“I have learned to rely on the Lord with all my heart, mind and might,” said Sandi.

Living the principles of the gospel can help single mothers gain a deeper testimony of its truthfulness.

Elder Marvin J. Ashton counseled, “To be in control of your life, to be a success regardless of your situation, whether happily married, unhappily married, a single parent, a widow, or a wife of an inactive husband, I recommend that you come to know your Father in Heaven. Come to love Him, and always remember that He loves you and will give you guidance and support if you will but give Him the chance.” (“Choose the Good Part,” Ensign, May 1984)

Single mothers wish they had more support from ward members.

“Include, involve, invite. Don’t assume we can’t serve. Give us the opportunity,” said Orla, “Give single parent families the best home teachers and visiting teachers you have.”

Regular visits from a loving home or visiting teacher can make a huge difference in the life of a single mother. Offering rides to church, inviting over for dinner or volunteering to watch her kids to allow her a break, are things most single mothers would really appreciate. It can be difficult for some single mothers to ask for help.

President Gordon B. Hinckley counseled, “Now a word to the single parents among us. … You need not be entirely alone. There are many, ever so many in this Church who would reach out to you with sensitivity and understanding. They do not wish to intrude where they are not wanted. But their interest is genuine and sincere, and they bless their own lives as they bless your lives and those of your children. Welcome their help. They need to give it for their own sakes as well as for your sake.” (“To Single Adults,” Ensign, June 1989)

Single parenthood has it challenges, but there is comfort in knowing Heavenly Father is there to help get through dark times.

President Ezra Taft Benson stated, “Single parenthood is understood by the Lord. He knows the special challenges that are yours. You are His daughters. He loves you and will bless and sustain you. This I know.”(“To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988)

Advice for Single Moms

1. Be faithful. Keep the commandments. Establish a deep and abiding relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Know that He is there—always there. Reach out to Him. He does answer prayers. He does bring peace. He does give hope.

2. Make the scriptures your constant companion.

3. Realize your personal self-worth. Never demean yourself. Realize the strength of your inner self and that, with God’s help, you “can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth [you].” (Philip. 4:1.)

4. Become fully involved in the Church. Attend all your meetings and church activities.

5. Reach out to others. Rather than turning inward, forget self and really serve others in your Church callings, in personal deeds of compassionate service, in unknown, unheralded personal acts of kindness.

6. And always be improving yourself. Set personal achievement goals and stretch to accomplish them. Improve yourself physically, socially, mentally, and spiritually. Keep growing and learning and progressing and serving others.

(Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church,” Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96)

Single Mother Household by the Numbers:

*Single mother households (children under 18) in the United States: 9.8 million

*Single mother households (children under 21) in the United States: 11.6 million

*Most single mother households are run by only one adult (69%); the rest had another adult in the home to help

(US Census Bureau statistics)

*Eleven percent of single mothers are under the age of 25

(Focus on the Family, October 1994)

Single Parent Resources

> Mormon.org's page on single parenting
(Note, this is one of the Church's official websites)

> Being a Successful LDS Single Parent