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Grandparenting can be one of the most joyous life
experiences. It deepens family ties and can improve family bonds.
As much fun as it is there is also a serious responsibility
to help teach and raise our grandchildren to be good, Christ-like
people.
In her article, "Makers of Moons and Testimonies,"
Caroline Eyring Miner states, "...But there is an even
more important way we support our children in raising their
families. I remember how startled I was when one of my grandchildren
begged, 'Grandma, tell us how it was when you were young in
the olden days.' "
Age, of course, is a relative matter, but the
most important responsibility we have as grandparents is to
support our families by recognizing our place in the patriarchal
order. We assert the continuity of the family as an ongoing
unit by taking part in special family home evenings, by helping
them with their books of remembrance, by taking the time to
share pictures and tell stories and simply by being a real part
of their lives. At home, part of your standard living room decor
can be a large photograph album of "Our Family," in
which you can group pictures of grandparents, aunts, uncles,
and cousins and each of your children with his or her family
of children.
Another visual aid is a Family Tree. It can be
embroidered, painted or made with any other medium. (Try
our embossed metal version, featured in the Crafty Chic section.)
On its branches, place names and / or pictures of each child
and grandchild. From these, grandchildren learn who they are
and how important they are in the context of this larger family.
Dennis B. Neuenschwander in a talk given in 1999
General Conference continues this topic, "Not one of my
children has any recollection of my grandparents. If I want
my children and grandchildren to know those who still live in
my memory, then I must build the bridge between them. I alone
am the link to the generations that stand on either side of
me. It is my responsibility to knit their hearts together through
love and respect, even though they may never have known each
other personally. My grandchildren will have no knowledge of
their family’s history if I do nothing to preserve it for
them. That which I do not in some way record will be lost at
my death, and that which I do not pass on to my posterity, they
will never have. The work of gathering and sharing eternal family
keepsakes is a personal responsibility. It cannot be passed
off or given to another."
Caroline Miner also has great insight into the
grandparent’s role in a child’s life.
"One way I have found to help strengthen
the family without interfering is to provide a time-out place
for our grandchildren, a place where they can go to get away
from things, to be pampered and listened to, or to find a sounding
board for ideas they are afraid to voice at home. Of course,
this doesn’t mean I simply agree with everything they say,
but I do keep their confidences and they don’t feel threatened
by me, so we can talk. Sometimes it’s disturbing to hear
their strange philosophies, to note their fluctuating goals
and their times of little faith, but I’m not responsible
for disciplining them and besides, it’s not such a long
step backwards to when my own children seemed to be full of
scatterbrained ideas and precarious plans. The compensation
is those other times when their youthful idealism restores my
own."
Whether you are next door or half way around the
world from your grandchildren you have such potential to influence
and enrich their lives. The most important thing to do is to
spend the time to really know your grandchildren and let them
really know you. They grow so quickly and are adults long before
we are ready. Building eternal ties is an important step to
the salvation and exaltation of our families. They are definitely
worth our best efforts.
An Opinion Piece by Connie Sorensen
Circumstances surrounding the birth of my first
grandchild, a beautiful little girl, were such that I was the
only family member with my daughter. The labor was slow but
the delivery was precipitous and, also being a nurse, I was
able to help assess the newborn. It was a life changing experience.
My daughter went with natural childbirth and a two minute delivery.
I was captivated by this new little person the first second
I saw her. She didn’t cry immediately so the nurse assisting
the doctor and I stimulated her and saw her take that big breath.
The relief was so sharp; I didn’t realizing I had been
holding my breath until she took hers. I got to go with her
to the newborn nursery and help weigh and measure her. I bathed
her and wrapped her back up, tears of joy streaming the entire
time. As I handed her to my daughter and saw the love and joy
on her face, I knew that our family had been vastly improved
and our love deepened by the arrival of this little eight pound
bundle of sweetness.
I now have three grandchildren and have been able
to attend all of their births, along with a son-in-law and his
mom. (Both grandpas waited outside the room!) Each time has
been the same rush of joy and excitement.
Being grandparents has been a good experience
in every way. It has strengthened the bond between my husband
and I and all of our children and these precious babies are
growing up to be the light of our lives and more fun than we
ever dreamed. Having them close now is a blessing of such magnitude
to me that I can’t think of a superlative grand enough
to express my joy.
I was a young grandma at 38 and my friends thought
that calling me "grandma" would upset me. Never. I
love being a grandma and can’t wait until the next one
arrives, and the next and...
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Grandparenting
from Afar:
Ways to Bridge the Gap
Terry Ingersoll, Salt Lake City,
Utah, has these suggestions for grandparents that live far
from their grandkids.
*When you visit your grandchildren,
acquaint yourself with their environment. Visit their school,
meet their friends, see where they go to the doctor, etc,
so that in phone conversations or letters, you will better
understand them, plus they will be so happy that they are
important enough for you to spend your time learning about
their every day activities.
*Have phone calls just with them
and be spontaneous. If you hear a cute joke, see something
on the news, or just want to hear their voice, call them.
*Establish traditions. This is
also important for nearby grandchildren. Have a special "sleep
over" date, cookie making or decorating party, Christmas
tree trimming event or have them help you with service projects.
It’s never too young to teach children to be giving.
*Have someone video tape you reading
a story to the child, send the video along with the book,
this way they can really have you with them to read a story,
and the book will usually prove to be a favorite.
For grandparents nearby, you can offer your services to your
children as an extra pair of hands during everyday life. You
can include them in family home evening, Sunday dinner, baking,
making crafts, sleep-overs, walks, and provide the children
with a listening ear and open heart. If you are fortunate
enough to live in the same ward/branch with your grandchildren
take time after church or activities to discuss events of
the day and not miss out on opportunities to help build those
sweet testimonies of our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ.
Ways to Communicate, whether near or far:
*E-mail
*Greeting cards (for online versions,
try our eCards, Hallmark.com
or Mormon.org.)
Check out Grandparentsmagazine.net
for lots of other fun ideas.
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