We
know obsessions and addictions can harm us, but we may not realize
the depth of injury we can cause to ourselves and others.
Amy,
a nurse who enjoyed her work, didn't mean to start stealing
pills from work. As her addiction deepened she looked for new
ways to get the medications she was dependant on. She was caught
injecting a powerful pain medication that was meant for a patient
into her own leg after injecting plain saline into the patient.
She went to jail, lost her license and nearly lost her family.
Since drugs were not available to her anymore she began to use
alcohol. She nearly died of alcohol poisoning.
Mary
found herself focusing more and more of her time and energy
on a hobby until it became an obsession. Only when she realized
that she was finding excuses to avoid visits with her children.
Lisa
was reading in the Book of Mormon about true repentance and
the willingness to give up all sins. She realized she was terrified
of giving up her "one true friend." This moment of
clarity lead her to realize that "There comes a point in
any addict's life when the behavior no longer brings the joy
and happiness that it once did."
It
was at these points that the three women decided to seek help,
realizing that the addiction was more than they could deal with
on their own.
Elder
Boyd K. Packer taught:
"It is contrary to the order of heaven for any soul to
be locked into compulsive, immoral behavior with no way out!
It is consistent with the workings of the adversary to deceive
you into believing that you are" ("Little Children,"
Ensign, Nov. 1986, 18).
We
know that one of the great tools of the deceiver is discouragement.
When battling something as pernicious as addiction we need great
strength and this can only come from the Lord. The Savior suffered
for all the sins, pains and ills of this world. He knows how
we feel. We can go to him with anguish of soul and he will offer
us love and peace. In fact when we feel that we cannot triumph
over addictions we are refusing the gift of the Atonement.
It
is important for each person to have some method to deal with
stress productively and positively. Positive, uplifting habits
must replace addictive behaviors. With out new ways of dealing
with stress an addict will relapse or find new addictions to
do.
Amy
feels that she fell about as far as a person can fall and yet
when she was at her lowest point she found refuge in the grace
of the Lord. Her Bishop referred her to LDS Social Services.
She has also benefited greatly from AA and NA support groups.
She says her family still has some issues to work through but
with the help of the gospel they are on their way.
Mary
felt that no one understood her. After the loss of her husband
she was trying to be a "good soldier" when her little
pet dog died. Her cycle of behavior made her inaccessible to
her family and ward members that were depending on her. Realizing
that she was no longer a reliable person was very painful to
her. She turned to her bishop, the scriptures and to the book:
"The Miracle of Forgiveness." It has taken work and
restructuring the schedule of her days but she feels she is
on the way to "winning out."
Lisa
suppressed her behavior by "sheer will power". This
worked for short periods of times, but she suffered relapses.
Only when she recognized underlying problems and wounds that
caused her behavior was she able to overcome. Her words about
recovery are powerful:
"What
finally broke that cycle? The Atonement. Christ IS
the great physician and he can heal any pain. What was stopping
me earlier? My lack of knowing that I am a Beloved Daughter
of God. With out the knowledge I could not understand that
no matter what I was doing, my Heavenly Father still loved
me. He did not love the behaviors, but he loves me."
"This knowledge came after many Priesthood Blessings.
After many fast Sundays spent fasting to feel the Love of
God in my life. But it came. And I now know."
There is relief and rest from addiction. Through the atonement
of Christ we can have a change of heart. No longer having the
"disposition to do evil, but to do good continually"
(Mosiah 5:2)
There
are so many other resources to help us obtain a change of heart.
Bishops and Social Services can counsel with us. Answers are
to be found with in the scriptures. There are many articles
and books that can help us identify additions and begin to work
through them.
Below is a list of books and articles that may be helpful:
Overcoming
Addictions the Spiritual Solution
by Deepak Chopra
There
Must Be More Than This: Finding More Life, Love and Meaning
by Overcoming Your Soft Addictions
by Judith Wright
"A
Christmas Carol Conversion Story"
"More
Than Willpower: How to Overcome a Destructive Habit"
by Dr. Mark Chamberlain
www.turningpointi.com
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This
is an excerpt from "How
to Overcome a Destructive Habit" by Mark Chamberlain.
Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D. is a Salt Lake area psychologist,
lecturer, and author. For ideas on applying the principles
discussed in this article and a schedule of upcoming presentations
on this topic go to www.turningpointi.com.
Learn
from Unusually Persistent Temptations
Unusually
intense or persistent temptations aren't easily dismissed.
We still don't want to entertain them or spend a lot of time
battling them. Instead, we can treat the urge like a warning
light on the dashboard of our lives: we don't dwell on the
light, but we take it seriously-as an indicator that something
needs to be addressed.
President
Spencer W. Kimball taught: "Jesus saw sin as wrong
but was also able to see sin as springing from deep unmet
needs on the part of the sinner."
He
then counseled that if we hope to change our own habits or
help someone else change theirs, we must
"look
deeply enough . . . to see the basic causes for . . . failures
and short-comings" (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball,
p. 481).
Identify
what you were thinking, feeling, doing, or what was happening
to you right before you were tempted. Then, if you can, trace
the pattern back one more step:what led up to
the thing that led up to temptation? Such exploration
will help clarify the life patterns in which your destructive
habit is embedded. As we learn about these patterns, we'll
be able to do things differently in the future.
Direct Your Own Life Instead of Allowing Yourself
to be Controlled
Deep down, we all yearn to direct our own lives and express
our uniqueness.
President
David O. McKay said that "next to the bestowal of life
itself, the right to direct that life is God's greatest gift
to man" (Gospel Ideals, 1993, p. 299).
Destructive
habits sometimes provide a phony sense of independence. The
alcoholic thinks, "No one's going to tell me how
to live my life. If I feel like having a drink or two then
I'm going to have a drink or two!" Ironically, actions
that feel freeing in the moment permit our seemingly liberating
urges to tighten their compulsive hold on us. In order to
give up the counterfeit, we must find more genuine ways of
directing our own lives.
Instead
of living in a reactive way, responding primarily to forces
beyond our own will, we can be more respectful of and responsive
to our own opinions, preferences and choices. We can build
a repertoire of adaptive ways of asserting our independence.
Commit now to living a life that is more wholly your own.
Dig deeper and look within to discover your reasons for doing
things and motivations for life. Pay attention to the language
you use with yourself. When you catch yourself thinking, "I
can't" or "I have to," switch to the language
of liberation: "I'm free to" or "I choose."
Sometimes you might decide to do something differently when
you give yourself options. However, you may do exactly what
you were going to do, but feel free and energetic-instead
of resentful and dispirited-in the process. This is the genuine
article, the energy and sense of expansiveness you've been
trying to bootleg by going to your bad habit.
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