So what’s your week look like? If I took a peak at your daily calendars, what would I see? Carpool, house cleaning, school activities, work schedules, grocery shopping, sporting events, laundry, doctors appointments, etc. I know for a fact you’re not sitting on the couch 8 hours a day watching TV and eating bon-bon’s! I think it’s pretty fair to say your daily, weekly and monthly calendars are packed, and for the most part packed with good, worthwhile responsibilities. Many of which are things we can’t simply not do (i.e. buy groceries, take kids to school, etc.).

And yet if you asked any sister at church, are you spending enough time doing spiritual things, many would probably laugh out loud, and say no and be able to list at least two or three things they’d really like to have more time to do.

When I asked sisters “What are some spiritual things you’d like to have time for? Or find more time for?” Here are just a few of the things they told me they wanted to find time for:

Scripture Study – personal/companion/family
Heartfelt Prayer and Meditation
Temple Worship
Family History Work
Meaningful Visiting Teaching
Compassionate Service
Family Home Evening
Reading church magazines
Reading church books
Write in my journal
Study the Sunday lesson materials for RS/Sunday School
More effectively teach my children gospel principles
Strengthening my marriage

When I made a similar list for myself of spiritual things I wanted to have time – or felt I should have time for – I have to be honest, I didn’t have an overwhelming sense of “I can do this!”… I felt tired, wiped out, depressed and demoralized…

Elder Dallin H. Oaks shared the following story which he describes as “a homely story with a warning” that I hope will somewhat illustrate the direction I’m going to take today as we look for ways to “find time for spiritual things.”

“Two men formed a partnership. They built a small shed beside a busy road. They obtained a truck and drove it to a farmer’s field, where they purchased a truckload of melons for a dollar a melon. They drove the loaded truck to their shed by the road, where they sold their melons for a dollar a melon. They drove back to the farmer’s field and bought another truckload of melons for a dollar a melon. Transporting them to the roadside, they again sold them for a dollar a melon. As they drove back toward the farmer’s field to get another load, one partner said to the other, “We’re not making much money on this business, are we?” “No, we’re not,” his partner replied. “Do you think we need a bigger truck?”

Obviously, they didn’t need a bigger truck in order to be successful. And likewise we don’t need more than 24 hours in our day to find time for spiritual things. Elder Oaks went on to say, “like the two partners in the story, our biggest need is a clearer focus on how we should value and use what we already have.”

Throughout this article, I’d like you to keep this quote from Elder Richard G Scott in your minds eye:

“Are there so many fascinating, exciting things to do or so many challenges pressing down upon you that it is hard to keep focused on that which is essential? When things of the world crowd in all too often the wrong things take highest priority. Then it is easy to forget the fundamental purpose of life. Satan has a powerful tool to use against good people. It is distraction. He would have good people fill life with “good things” so there is no room for the essential ones. Have you unconsciously been caught in that trap?”

 

Marshmallows & M&Ms
A number of years ago in a student ward I attended, my friend Nono Jost, shared the analogy of MARSHMALLOWS and M&M’s in a sacrament meeting talk, and it has stuck with me ever since. Using a quart jar to represent our lives; M&M’s to depict our daily responsibilities, all the good and worthwhile things vying for our time; and Marshmallow’s to represent the spiritual things we need or want to experience, she very effectively taught what happens when we are distracted… when our purpose blurred.

When our purpose is blurred, we fill our daily quart jar first with M&Ms, leaving little room for the spiritual. But when our purpose is clear, and we are undistracted and place our focus on things of the spirit – meaning we’re putting our marshmallows in the jar first, the M&M’s easily and freely fall into place surrounding the marshmallows, allowing you to accomplish both. (The other interesting point I made in one session was that when evenly distributed through the jar, the Marshmallow have the opportunity to influence the M&Ms… when they are just sitting on top, they can’t do that as easily.

When wanting to find “more time for spiritual things” there seem to be FOUR basic ways or places we’ve been counseled look.

Purpose, Priorities, Finding Balancing
Why are purpose and priority so important? Our purpose in life has an overriding influence what we do with our time, energy and resources and our priorities are most visible in how we use our time.

In the same talk where Elder Oaks told the story of the two partners, he said this, “We are accountable and will be judged for how we use what we have received. This eternal principle applies to all we have been given. In the parable of the talents (see Matt. 25:14–30), the Savior taught this principle with reference to the use of property. The principle of accountability also applies to the spiritual resources conferred in the teachings we have been given and to the precious hours and days allotted to each of us during our time in mortality.

When deciding how to use the precious hours and days we’ve been allotted, it is important to know our purpose, and the purpose for which we are doing any given task. Those who choose to spend their time doing things with little or no purpose Elder Oaks says “are like the partners in my story, hurrying to and fro, hauling more and more but failing to grasp the essential truth that we cannot make a profit from our efforts until we understand the true value of what is already within our grasp.”

It’s important to ask ourselves “As I look at my own daily routine, what does my daily timesheet say about what my purpose in life is? Is it truly reflective of what I think my purpose is, or what I want my purpose to be?”

The easiest way and the most telling way, is to create the ever popular list…

First identify your purpose and then your priorities and responsibilities. This helps us focus our actions and hopefully make better decisions.

Second, maintain a time log. Write down how you use your time – a day in the life snapshot. This technique is used in so many different situations (dieting, budgeting, etc.) … it more clearly in black and white shows you exactly how we are allocating our time and allows us to evaluate it.

Third, we need to study our findings and make needed adjustments.

There are countless scriptures to help guide us in our efforts to use of our time and resources correctly. Here’s what the Savior said during His Sermon on the Mount …

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth… But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

“Seek not the things of this world, but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you...” Matthew 6:33, JST, Matt. 6:38

“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled” Matthew 5:6

Harold B. Lee stated, “A man has a responsibility to himself. He has a responsibility to his family. He has a responsibility to the Church, and he has a responsibility to his profession. In order for him to live a balanced life, he must try to find an avenue by which he can serve in each of these areas.”

Finding this balance - knowing how to properly serve in church responsibilities, achieve success in our occupation, rear children, maintain a home, provide service to the community, and at the same time devote an appropriate amount of time and energy to our families - is a challenge we all face. When our life isn’t balanced, when we’re spending too much or too little time in one or more of these areas, we experience an internal conflict which interferes with our happiness and personal development.

Dr. Philip Washburn, served as the director of the Timpanogos Mental Health Center in Provo, Utah 25 years ago, say’s “a major challenge to many members is the effective management of their time and resources and the elimination of the pressures generated in trying to do all of the things they want to do.” But just because lots of us are experiencing the same challenge to find balance in our lives, doesn’t mean the way to find balance is the same for each of us.

“Resolving these pressures,” he declares, “requires that each person honestly evaluate his capabilities to determine the limit of his physical energy and his intellectual capacity. He then has to adjust his living patterns accordingly.”
Meaning we must be realistic in what we can accomplish, and yet, in tune to the spirit so we don’t miss opportunities from the Lord to learn, grow and progress.

I want to share with you a few experience about priorities and use of time… stories showing how others learned to alter their focus and put marshmallows – things of the spirit – in their quart jar first.

Karen Caldwell, Feb 05 Ensign, In the Quiet of the Morning:
“For many of my adult years I loved to sit in Gospel Doctrine classes or firesides to learn about the gospel but rarely took time to learn on my own. I often felt the Spirit of the Lord in these settings and was in awe at the knowledge of others, but that was about where my gospel study ended. It was easy to rationalize that others had more time to study than I did because I was a busy mother. My days were always filled with the consuming tasks of running a household, cooking, cleaning, shuttling children to appointments and assignments. How could I find the time to spend more than just a few minutes a day reading scriptures?

The turning point in my life came when my desire to learn the gospel and to know the Savior was more important to me than some extra sleep in the morning that I had been accustomed to giving myself. The early morning hours became my friend as I wrapped myself in a blanket on the couch in the living room feasting on the words of Christ. In the quiet of the morning I have come to know the Savior’s plan for me and have come to see my great need for Him. I have felt His love for me in spite of my shortcomings. I have come to know that our prophet and apostles are the Savior’s special witnesses to us and that Christ speaks His will to them.

The decision I made a few years ago to arise early in the morning to study the gospel has blessed my life and has helped me know what to share with my family. Studying together as a family, particularly the words of the prophets on specific subjects, has added a spiritual dimension to our lives. Studying the Book of Mormon and applying it to our lives has enlightened our understanding of all things, especially to what is happening in the world today.”

I can so relate to this sister who shared her experience so honestly. And what I want to point out about her experience, is that Karen’s decision didn’t just affect her knowledge of the Gospel… and it didn’t just help her participate more in her Gospel Doctrine classes… it had far reaching effects – far reaching spiritual effects – it strengthened her relationship with her Savior, gave her a better understanding of secular and spiritual things, opened channels of spiritual communication, greatly improved her ability to parent her children and teach them to walk in righteousness.

In the Saturday night Spring 2006 General Priesthood Session of General Conference, Elder Rasband of the Seventy shared the following experience that illustrates another aspect of balance.

“When I was first called to the Seventy some years ago, we were assigned to move to England, to serve in the Area Presidency. Sister Rasband and I took our two youngest children with us on this assignment. Our daughter was a young single adult and our son a 17-year-old who liked American-style football and played it very well. We were very concerned about them. No friends, no extended family, and no American football! I wondered, "Would this exciting new experience prove to be a serious trial for our family?"

The answer came in an early assignment I received. I had been asked to speak to the missionaries at the Missionary Training Center in Preston, England. I called President White of the center and was pleased to hear that he knew of my family situation. He suggested we include our children on our visit to Preston. Once we were there, he even invited our daughter and son to speak to the missionaries! What a thrill for them to be and feel included and share their testimonies of the Lord's work!\

When finished and after tender good-byes to those missionaries, we visited the beautiful Preston England Temple, which was close to the Missionary Training Center. As we walked near the front door, there stood President and Sister Swanney, the temple president and matron. They greeted us and welcomed us into the temple with, "Elder Rasband, how would you and your family like to perform baptisms for the dead?" What a wonderful idea! We looked at each other and gratefully accepted. After performing the ordinances and while my son and I were still in the font with tears of joy in our eyes, he put his hand on my shoulder and asked, "Dad, why haven't we ever done this before?"

I thought of all the football games, all the movies we had attended together, all of the good times we had shared—certainly happy memories and traditions that are so important to build.

However, I realized we had an opportunity to add more meaningful spiritual experiences with our children like what we had experienced in Preston that day.”

 

Back to Basics
Elder L. Tom Perry back in 1993 shared a great example of the far reaching effects refocusing our efforts on two Gospel Basics has on our desire and ability to find time for spiritual things.

“Until recently, part of my assignment has included the country of Peru, an area of the world that is experiencing great turmoil. Inflation and internal strife have been robbing from the Peruvian people almost any hope of stability in their lives.

It has been difficult for my Brethren and me to visit Peru regularly because of the dangers of traveling there. It has been necessary for the Peruvian members to assume much more responsibility for priesthood and auxiliary leadership and for full-time missionary service.

The Area Presidency recognized the need to fortify the members of the Church in this country, and after much prayer and fasting, decided to emphasize just two basic teachings of the gospel. They prepared a letter to be delivered to each family unit in Peru. The theme was “Being Converted to the Lord,” in which they stressed family prayer and family scripture study.

The Area Presidency taught these principles first to the stake presidencies. They, in turn, instructed their high councils, and from there the teaching was done to bishops. The bishops then instructed their ward members, and a follow-up letter was delivered by the home teachers to each family unit. The fathers were encouraged specifically to lead their families in daily prayer and scripture study.

The blessings that have come to the Peruvian Saints from practicing these two basic gospel principles, daily prayer and scripture study, have been most remarkable. It soon became evident that faith and testimony were increasing among members of the Church there. There has been a significant increase in sacrament meeting attendance, which has resulted in a greater sense of community and increased interest among the Saints in loving and caring for each other. Though travel to the temple has become increasingly difficult and dangerous, surprisingly, temple attendance is up significantly.

The number of full-time missionaries immediately began to increase. Now the five missions in Peru fill their missionary needs with native Peruvians. The full-time missionaries are arriving in the field better prepared to serve, which of course has resulted in increased convert baptisms.

A renewed emphasis on two basic gospel practices—daily prayer and scripture study—created a dramatic change and offered increased spirituality and works among the Saints there.”

“My sincere counsel to you today is to recommit yourselves to these two basic practices that have been the source of so many blessings for the Saints in Peru. Never let a day go by without holding family prayer and family scripture study. Put this, the Lord’s program, to the test; and see if it does not bless your home with greater peace, hope, love, and faith.

I promise you that daily family prayer and scripture study will build within the walls of your home a security and bonding that will enrich your lives and prepare your families to meet the challenges of today and the eternities to come.”

The prophet Alma wanted his Sons to remember this same principle when he counseled them to be obedient to God’s will, and explained the amazing blessings promised to those who are obedient and put things of the spirit in their jar first. To his son Helamen, he said:

“O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God.
“Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.” (Alma 37:35–37.)

 

Lord, What good thing shall I do?
In the parable of the rich young ruler, he goes to the Savior and asks “Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?” and the Savior responds by asking him if he knows the commandments. And he responds that he’s kept all the commandments since he was a young child. “Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and asked unto him, One thing thou lackest: …” and the Lord proceeds to tell the young man what good thing he needs to do to gain eternal life.

If we are doing as Elder Perry councils and have mastered the gospel basics, we will begin to “hunger and thirst” after more. We will find ourselves asking, what among all the good and spiritual things the gospel has to offer, should I experience next?

Sister Anne Pingree related the following experience of a young girl who recognized “one thing she lacked” and through strong determination and great effort succeeded.

“One young woman who was a lifelong member of the Church chose not to enroll in the seminary program in high school and seldom read the scriptures. After her marriage, she realized that she couldn’t continue to live on the borrowed light of others’ testimonies; she needed to develop a testimony of her own. She decided to read the Book of Mormon for the first time. At first it was difficult to concentrate. Then she realized she must ponder and pray about what she read. That was the beginning of overcoming her weakness – the one thing she lacked.

As her small family grew larger and the demands on her time became greater, she set aside precious moments each day to read, study, and pray. The words in the scriptures became sweet to her, and she looked forward to “feasting upon the word of Christ” (2 Ne. 31:20). She also immersed herself in the other standard works, and her spiritual confidence grew.

Yearning to instill firm testimonies in her children, she, along with her husband, made gospel learning and scripture study a top priority. Each morning at breakfast they read the scriptures together and engaged in gospel discussions. Family home evening lessons also included the scriptures. Years later she received a calling to teach her sisters in the Relief Society, some of whom had not read the scriptures or were struggling with their testimonies. She encouraged these women to turn to the scriptures with full energy of heart, and she bore the strong testimony she had gained of Jesus Christ and of the Book of Mormon.”

Ether12:27 reads, “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

If we will humbly and prayerfully go to the Lord, seeking the promptings of the Spirit we will be guided, directed, even told where our spiritual focus needs to be, allowing us to use our time and resources in the most effective way.

All things are Spiritual
At times our quart jars are adequately filled with Marshmallows and M&Ms … they are evenly distributed, our priorities are in balance and yet we loose sight of the workings of the spirit in our lives.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks: “As we draw farther from worldliness, we feel closer to our Father in Heaven and more able to be guided by his Spirit. To the faithful, spirituality is a lens through which we view life and a gauge by which we evaluate it.

Each of us has a personal lens through which we view the world. Our lens gives its special tint to all we see. It can suppress some features and emphasize others. It can also reveal things otherwise invisible. Through the lens of spirituality, we can know “the things of God” by “the Spirit of God.” (1 Cor. 2:11.)

How we interpret our experiences is also a function of our degree of spirituality. Some interpret mortality solely in terms of worldly accomplishments and possessions. In contrast, we who have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ should interpret our experiences in terms of our knowledge of the purpose of life, the mission of our Savior, and the eternal destiny of the children of God.”

Many of you have probably heard Elder Loren C. Dunn’s story of his father and raising to young sons on the family farm in Toole, Utah. It’s a good example of a spiritual and a temporal evaluation of an everyday experience. Elder Dunn described how his father, a busy stake president, gave his two young sons the responsibility of raising cows on the family farm. He gave the boys large latitude in what they could do, and they made some mistakes. These were observed by an alert neighbor, who complained to their father about what the young cow-raisers were doing. “Jim, you don’t understand,” President Dunn replied. “You see, I’m raising boys, not cows.”

Are their daily responsibilities where, with a little tweaking of our personal lenses they could gain the perspective of being seen through the lens of spirituality?

Elder John A Widtsoe taught that “there is a spiritual meaning of all human acts and earthly events… It is the business of man to find the spiritual meaning of earthly things. … No man is quite so happy … as he who backs all his labors by such a spiritual interpretation and understanding of the acts of his life.”

Consciously seeking the constant, daily companionship of the Holy Ghost to be our guide in all that we do – maintaining our homes, car pool, grocery shopping, responsibilities at work, visiting teaching, compassionate service, relationships, family ties, schooling, performing our callings, - will help us tweak our personal lenses to emphasize “the things of God.”

When we live our lives in such a way that we provide a climate suitable to the presence of the Holy Ghost, our lives are happier and more joyful. We should be looking and expecting His influence and help in our day to day activities.
One more story that illustrates aspects of this concept comes from the book “The Hiding Place” by Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsie, who helped Jews escape Germany in the 1940s. Here they relate a wonderful story of praising God in all things.

The two sisters had been caught by the Gestapo and thrown in prison. In the process of moving to new barracks, Corrie screamed to her sister, Betsie, this place is crawling with fleas! How can we ever live in such a room? Betsie responded, God has already given us the answer. She pointed to the Scripture she had just gotten that morning, "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God...." (1 Thessalonians 5:18) This is God's answer, Corrie.

Corrie couldn't believe her ears. There's no way on earth God can ever make me thankful for these fleas! she thought to herself. She was sure Betsie was wrong this time. But, eventually, she chose by faith to be thankful anyway.
The new building was a large dormitory, with many rooms adjacent to it. Corrie and Betsie's room held nine women, but was accessible to the main hall. As the ten Booms read their Bible each night, others soon began to join in. Soon, women from other wings of the dormitory also came. Some women would translate the Word, as they heard it, into their own language, so even more women could participate. Night after night they held their Bible studies and no one ever bothered them. No guard even came near. In fact, there was no supervision at all!

One night, months later, Betsie said to Corrie, "I finally understand why we never had any interruptions to our Bible studies and why we had so much freedom in the big room. It was because of the fleas! The room is crawling with fleas, and the guards won't step through the door!"

In closing I want to share with you a few last thoughts on finding time for spiritual things.

Marvin J. Ashton made the following point that I think is so important for us as sisters to come to terms with in order to truly find balance and be happy and at peace with our lives.

“Oh, how powerful are good women who choose the good part.

“And although He will always be at our side if we will but invite Him, never will He take from His children the great gift of agency—the power to choose. Young mothers (single or otherwise) must learn to use this power wisely. There may be times when more than one course of action is placed before us. Each is right. It is then that wise and prudent decisions must be made, taking into consideration the season of life and the pertinent facts.

“Some mothers seem to have the capacity and energy to make their children’s clothes, bake, give piano lessons, go to Relief Society, teach Sunday School, attend parent-teacher association meetings, and so on. Other mothers look upon such women as models and feel inadequate, depressed, and think they are failures when they make comparisons.

“We should not allow ourselves to be trapped into such damaging inferiority feelings. This is another tool of Satan. Many seem to put too much pressure on themselves to be a “supermom” or “superwoman.”

“Sisters, do not allow yourselves to be made to feel inadequate or frustrated because you cannot do everything others seem to be accomplishing. Rather, each should assess her own situation, her own energy, and her own talents, and then choose the best way to mold her family into a team, a unit that works together and supports each other. Only you and your Father in Heaven know your needs, strengths, and desires. Around this knowledge your personal course must be charted and your choices made.”

It is important to remember that we are each in unique seasons and stages of life with unique challenges and responsibilities. What the Lord wants my Marshmallows to be isn’t necessarily what He wants your marshmallows to be… and it’s okay if your jar has more marshmallows than mine… or if your neighbors jar seems to have fewer M&M’s than yours. What’s important is that we seeks the Lords guidance and we live our lives to be worthy of the Holy Ghosts constant companionship. When we first focus on the gospel basics – scripture study and prayer – it will impact our lives and allow us to feel and experience an increased measure of the spirit in our lives. I hope that you will find a few quiet moments today to commune with the Lord and seek his guidance as you determine what spiritual desires He wants you to make a reality.

Elder Oaks has said, “Spirituality is not acquired suddenly. It is the consequence of a succession of right choices. It is the harvest of a righteous life.” Reminding us to be patient, diligent and obedient; in so doing we will reap the reward. As faithful women of God, when we put our faith and trust in him, we can be Mary and Martha both and choose the better part while accomplishing our daily responsibilities.