After nine years of marriage and six permanent changes of address, I've learned that there is no such thing as a perfect move! As a military family, we've learned to anticipate a move every three years. Sometimes with one year's notice, others with one month's notice. There have been moves that were absolutely horrible, and others that were more manageable. Our most recent move involved a fourteen hour transatlantic flight with a colicky newborn, a two year old who insisted he was potty-trained (and wasn't!), an inconsolable seven year old that had misplaced his favorite Pokemon card somewhere in a Frankfurt airport bathroom, and a pre-teen who was loudly keening for the friends she was leaving behind. I vaguely remember my husband with us. He was the burly Army sergeant managing to keep twelve bags, four energetic children, and a sleep-deprived, postpartum wife from getting left behind somewhere between Europe and the US.

During a move, the most important mission is arriving to your new home with your family intact. Children, husbands, and pets are the most important items when life is reduced to color-coded boxes and take-out meals. Along the way, we've found that there are certain actions that can help to alleviate the stress of moving into a new ward.

Helping Your Children
As soon as you locate your new ward, contact the Primary and Young Women and Men's presidents. These valuable members will be able to introduce your children to the other kids in the ward.

Rather than have your child show up on the first day of school and be "the new kid", contact your children's new primary teacher and ask for her/him to arrange a get-together with some of the children in the class (maybe you could even host). Meeting other classmates will take away some of the stress of the first day of school.

Pay attention to who the kids are in your children's primary and Sunday school classes and pair them up with their parents. This will help you to meet more people, and you can ask if there are any play groups that your children might attend. Helping your children feel like they belong and have friends will facilitate their transition much better into a new ward.

What Can You Do

" Since moving to our community six years ago, my husband and I have lived in three different ward boundaries. We attended our first ward for four years, the second for one year and our most recent ward we've been in for nine months. With each of these transitions and moves, I have been reminded at what it takes to truly feel apart of a new ward.

Patience:
It's hard to feel apart of anything if you don't give it time. Give yourself and your new ward at least three months. In each new ward I've been in, it's taken me a minimum of three months to feel like I at least knew what was going on saw a few familiar faces. And it's taken nearly nine months to really feel apart of things.

Understanding:
If you are moving into a highly transitional ward… student ward, university or military town, it's important to remember that more than likely you aren't the only new family/individual moving into your new ward. And it's very likely the person sitting next to you is feeling just as new as you are.

Initiative:
Believe it or not, it's not 100% your new wards responsibility to get to know you. Take some of the responsibility of meeting new people and getting to know what "services" your ward has to offer. Look in the ward bulletin, find the Primary, YM/YW, or Relief Society Newsletters to see if there is information about a play group or a sewing circle, when the next Home Family and Personal Enrichment meeting will be and if are there any standing ward activities you should know about. If you can't find any newsletters, sit next to someone in Relief Society who might know about the services you're interested in, more then likely they'll know, or be able to point you in the right direction. (Kathleen Gordon-Ross, associate editor)"

Introduce yourself to the people you sit next to in Sunday School and Relief Society. Volunteer - sign up to help with Enrichment or be on the next food committee for a ward activity or primary party. Attend as many ward functions - outside of the three hour Sunday block of meetings - as you possibly can. The more involved you are the faster you will make friends. Get out there and be seen, introduce yourself and your children, let your ward know you are an active and participating member!

What Ward Members Can Do To Help

In the Landstuhl Servicemembers Ward, Kaiserslautern, Germany, the Relief Society has set up a New Sisters Packet. The packet includes directions to the closest temple, hours and addresses for the Family History Center, a recent ward roster, lists of baby-sitting teens in the ward, local shopping guides and attractions, along with translations for frequently used words. This packet proves invaluable to sisters making the transition from the States. A New Sisters Packet is useful in any ward. All new sisters appreciate information about their new locations. A packet could include local attractions, Realtors and other business people in the ward, temple directions, a list of the nearest grocery stores, and most importantly a ward roster listing the leaders in each organization.

The ward family can be invaluable in finding a home, a job, childcare, and help with moving. When we transitioned from overseas to Florida, Sis. Camden Gooch, Satellite Beach Ward, FL, showed up at our bug infested temporary military housing with a basket full of fresh fruits and vegetables and a can of bug spray. The children and I were stuck in the infested conditions while my husband was called up to Georgia. We were without transportation while we waited for our car to be shipped and without a home while we waited for a space to open up in military housing. I would have surely gone mad fighting the fist-sized bugs and feeding the children dry cereal day after day. This simple act of kindness, her visit with me, as much as the goodies, meant the world to my family.

`Every member is a missionary' is often heard. Another truth could be that `Every member is a best friend'. If you meet new families in your ward, don't assume that you don't have anything to offer a new family or that someone else will take care of them. It is easy for new members to get "lost" in a new ward. Some families have gone unnoticed by local members and have become less active. It is important to involve new members immediately. Stop by their home with a plate of cookies just to introduce yourself; or invite them over for dinner or a picnic. Help them to feel important and noticed.

"You can ask anyone in any of the Lawrence wards, and they will all tell you they had dinner in the Rytting's home when they first moved to Lawrence. This simple invitation has welcomed hundreds of new families into our area over the years. When we moved into the ward, we too were invited into their home along with four other new families. Their home is modest and the meal was simple, but the opportunity to feel of their love and to meet other new families in the ward really helped us feel apart of our new ward. (Kathleen Gordon-Ross, associate editor)"

I will never forget one sweet sister that showed up at my door days after my family had moved to a new village. I was a week away from delivering my third baby and nesting had set in. I wanted everything to be just right for the new baby. I was in tears at the prospect of unpacking, when the doorbell rang. This sweet sister came inside and started unpacking boxes. She finished the setting up the boy's rooms and hung decorations in my daughter's room. She arranged furniture and cleaned the kitchen. After a few days of her short, but fruitful visits, I learned she had been inspired to stop by one morning after dropping her son off at school. How miserable would my family have been had she not listened to the Spirit?

Moving is a very stressful time, and leaving behind friends and attending a new ward can be very difficult. Being proactive and, for ward members-being friendly; are great ways to ease the tention and stress of this time. Remember, it takes time to fit in with a new ward, and even if you never fit in, the Gospel is perfect-even if the people aren't.

Don't Forget About...

Ensign subscription-
To have your address changed you will need to notify the Ensign 60-days in advance. Send old address as well as new address to:
Distribution Services
P.O. Box 26368
Salt Lake City, UT 84126-0368
USA

Church News subscription-
Send old address and new address, along with your Subscription Number (see address label on your Church News) to:
Subscriptions
30 E. 100 South
Salt Lake City, Utah 84111

Your Membership Records-
As soon as you know where you are moving contact your ward membership clerk. Give him your address and ask him to please transfer your records (be sure to give correct dates).

Your Tithing Records-
Your tithing records will not be transferred with your membership records. Tithing is separate and remains with the ward. At the end of the year you will need to contact your old Bishop and have him send you a copy of your tithing records from your old ward. Be sure to take your old ward tithing records with you to your new wards tithing settlement.

Find Your New Ward-
There are two ways to do this. If you are moving within the USA or Canada you can click here and type in your new address. This is the Church's Meetinghouse Locator which will tell you where the chapel is and what time your ward meets. The other option is to talk to your Ward Clerk, if you give him your new address he can tell you what ward you will be in.