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Do We Love Our Neighbors?
by Anne Bradshaw, staff writer

Sometimes it’s easy to love our neighbor. Sometimes it’s hard and we have to start at the beginning and make do with ‘like’ instead of ‘love’, until we get over the hump in the middle and find that the ‘ik’ has changed into ‘ov’.

Does this take work on our part? Anything worthwhile takes time and effort.  More often than not, the work turns out to be more enjoyable than we thought, and converts into pleasure as time moves forward.

We need to keep in mind that the Savior said; “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples if ye have love one to another” (italics added – John 13:34-35).  We are all disciples of Christ. From the above quote it would seem we haven’t yet made it – unless we have love one to another. I have to keep reminding myself of how massive this little word ‘if’ really is. It shows up in many scriptures where blessings are promised.

My daughter reminded me the other day of how difficult it can be in a BYU ward, or any rapidly growing ward, where everyone thinks the other person has been there forever, and each is waiting for the other to make the first move. Often many people go home thinking ‘what an unfriendly ward’. If we can imagine that each person we meet (unless we know otherwise) is there for the first time, then we will find it easy to be outgoing with our warmth and conversation.

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, in a November 1988 Ensign article, said, “Despite some well-publicized criticism to the contrary, I believe Church members want to be good friends and neighbors wherever they live, but some are shy and overly cautious. This can appear to be clannish. We must not reserve our kindness and affection only for our fellow members. We must be sensitive and not oblivious to the feelings of those whose views may differ from ours. Considering the early history of the Church in these latter days, unkindness or indifference toward others should be abhorrent to members of the Church.”

Elder Ballard also tells the following story in the same article:

‘Elder Devere Harris of the First Quorum of the Seventy told me of a recent visit he made to a long-established ward in Utah. He said, “I entered there as a stranger and tried every way that I knew to strike up a conversation, or to say hello, or to be kind, or to be greeted, or to be known. Everyone ignored me; nobody would speak to me – no one!  “Finally, a man recognized me. He said, ‘Oh, Elder Harris.’ The bishop turned around and said, ‘What did you say?’ The brother said, ‘This is Elder Harris of the First Quorum of the Seventy.’  “Well, things changed. It wasn’t long before I was asked to sit on the stand; they wondered if I wouldn’t like to bear my testimony. After the meeting, many people shook my hand. As I left, I thought, ‘What a tragedy! A gray-haired man who was unknown walks into a meeting. Nobody recognizes him, nobody says hello, nobody is kind. Then, because of his Church position, everybody changes and wants to be friendly.’”

Has this ever happened in your ward?

Lets have a look at some of the excuses we can give ourselves for not being outgoing and friendly to others.

Now let’s see some of the grounds for making an effort to overcome and improve the situation:

When Jesus walked the earth, he asked a tough question: “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same?” (Matt. 5:46) We’d be wise to stick to the counsel of Paul the Apostle in Ephesians 2:19 when he says, “… be no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and of the household of God.”

Let’s look around us at each church meeting we attend and challenge ourselves to make a difference by switching on our inner light and smiling; by sitting next to a sister who is by herself - especially if she is new to us; by listening more than talking; by the sincerity of our questions; by the warmth of an arm around a sagging shoulder; by making the first move; and by withholding judgment. As examples of pure Christianity, shouldn’t we be the most gracious and friendly people on earth?

If we don’t see ourselves as friendly, then plead with the Lord that you might develop that quality. The Savior invites us to pray for spiritual gifts. In Doctrine and Covenants Section 46, verse 8, we read “…and that ye may not be deceived seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given.”

When we truly try, then we will be blessed with success and will find the doing easier with each attempt. The lives of others will also be made happier, and we will eventually turn like into love for all those we meet.